The Woman as Mother

 
        The first contact with a woman is with one's mother, who suffers in the pregnancy, delivery, nursing and rearing of her child.

 
        History does not recall a religion or a system which honours the woman as a mother and which raises her as Islam does. Islam repeatedly commends the woman, and this comes directly after the command to worship and believe in the Oneness of Allah. Allah has made honouring one's mother a virtue, and He puts forth the mother's right over that of the father for what she endures in pregnancy, delivery, nursing and raising her children. This is stated and restated in the Qur'an, in multiple chapters, to imprint this notion in the child's mind and heart as per the following verses: "And we have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years-give thanks to Me and your parents,-unto Me is the final destination. 70 and "And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship and she brings him forth with hardship, and the bearing of him, and the weaning of `jim is thirty (30) months. 71

        Al-Bazzar recounts that a man was circumambulating the Ka'bah carrying his mother. The Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) asked him, "Have you repaid her?" The man said, "No, not even for one of her moans (i.e. one of the moans of labour, delivery and so on) 73 As to be good to her, it means treating her well, respecting her, humbling oneself in front of her, obeying her without disobeying Allah, seeking her satisfaction and pleasure in all matters, even in a holy war. If it is optional, he must have her permission, for being good to her in a type of jihad. 74

        A man came to the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) and said, "O Messenger of Allah, I want to fight and I want your advice." He asked him, "Have you a mother?" The man said, "Yes." He said, "Do not leave her because Paradise is under her feet. 75

        Some religious laws before Islam neglected the mother's relations, making them insignificant. With the advent of Islam, it recommended caring for uncles and aunts, both on the father's side and the mother's. A man approached the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) and said, "I committed an offence, could I atone for it?" He asked, "Have you got a mother?" The man said, "No." He asked, "Have you got a maternal aunt?" The man said, "Yes." The Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) said, "Be good to her.76

        It is amazing that Islam commanded us to be good to a mother even though she is an unbeliever! Asma'a bint Abu Bakr asked the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) about her relationship to her unbelieving mother who had come to her. He said, "Yes, be on good terms with your mother". 77

        An indication that Islam cares for motherhood, for the rights of mothers and their feelings is that a divorced mother has greater rights and is worthier of looking after her children than the father. `Abdallah ibn `Amr ibn Al-as transmitted that a woman asked,
"O Messenger of Allah, this son of mine had my womb as a container, my breasts for drinking, my lap to contain him. His father has taken him from me." The Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) said, "You have more right if you do not marry".78

 
        Imam Al-Khataby said in Landmarks of Traditions (Maalem As-Sunna): "Container" is the name of the place that contains a thing. This means that the mother is worthier as she and the father shared in the begetting of the child, then she was singled out for such things as nursing which the father had no share in. Therefore she deserves to be the first when it comes to disputes about the child.

 
        On the authenticity of Ibn `Abbas who said, "`Umar ibn Al-Khattab divorced his wife from Al-Ansar, the mother of `Asim. He met her carrying the child in Mahser (a market- place between Quba and Medina). The child was weaned and could walk. `Umar held out his hand to take the child from her and disputed about it till the boy cried out in pain. `Umar said, "I am worthier of my son than you "  They complained to Abu Bakr, whose verdict was that the mother should keep the child. He said, "Her scent, her bed, and her lap are better for him than yours until he grows up and chooses for himself ".79

 
        The mother who is cherished that much by Islam and given all these rights has a task to perform. She has to take care of her children, raise them well, implant virtues, and make them loathe evil. She has to teach them to obey Allah, encourage them to defend what is truthful, not dissuade them from fighting for the sake of Allah (one form of jihad) because of the motherly sentiments in her heart but to favour the correct way over sentiment.