Legitimate Mixing
Between Men and Women
Some words which have existed in the language for a long time have acquired
new significance and even weight. Among these is the term "mixing (or mingling)",
which refers to mixing of men and women in one place. During the Age of
the Prophet (blessings and peace he upon him), the Age of the Companions
which succeeded it, and the age of their followers, Muslim men and women
met at different gatherings, religious or otherwise, and this was not forbidden
at all. Under the right circumstances and for good reasons, it was legitimate
and natural for them to meet. Nor was it called "mixing" then.
In our age, however, the word has become very common. Nor do I know when
it came into use with the new connotations unsavoury for Muslim men and
women, since mixing one thing with another suggests a dissolution, the
way sugar or salt is dissolved in water, a metaphor that would have unpleasant
suggestions if applied to male-female relations. Anyway, the purpose is
to point out that not every kind of socialisation is prohibited as some
may imagine and as other hard-liners argue. On the other hand, not all
forms of mixing are acceptable as propagators of Westernization claim.
In the second volume of my book Contemporary Legal Opinions (Fataawa Mu'aserah),
I answer questions on this and several other related matters such as greeting
women, handshaking, treatment of women by male doctors and the reverse,
in addition to other questions. A careful Muslim should refer to these
legal opinions if he or she wants to learn about the rules of the Islamic
teachings (shar'a). Here, nevertheless, I would like to make the point
that it is our duty to adhere to the best guidance which is that of the
Prophet Mohammed (blessings and peace be upon him), his righteous successors
and enlightened Companions whose pious paths he recommends sticking to,
avoiding the two extreme routes of Western permissiveness and severe Eastern
asceticism.
By examining this guidance of the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon
him), we find that the woman was not caged or isolated as happened later
during the age of Muslim abatement. The women attended the major congregational
prayers on Fridays at the Prophet's mosque, including the night (Al-Esha)
and dawn (Al-Fajr) prayers. The Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him)
would direct them to form rows behind the men rows, and the more to the
back the better so that they would not see the sensitive parts of men's
bodies that might have shown due to the fact that only a few were familiar
with trousers and underwear, and there was no partition between the men
and women.
Moreover, in the early stages of congregating for prayer, men and women
would go through the same entrance where crowding would occur. The Prophet
(blessings and peace be upon him) said, "If only
we left this entrance to the women". 49
So they allocated the entrance for them from that time on and it became
known as the "woman's Entrance." As for the Friday congregation, women
during the Prophet's Era attended the prayer and listened to the sermon
to the extent that one of them could learn the Surah of because the Prophet
(blessings and peace be upon him) recited it frequently from his position
on the sermon pulpit. They also attended the two Bairam (a religious celebration)
congregations and took part in these big Islamic celebrations that
involved all people, old and young, male and female, in the open outskirts
where they would chant the name of Allah. Um`Ateyya, a witness of the Prophet's
Era, said, "We were frequently instructed to go out for the Bairams."
In another version she said, "The Messenger of Allah
(blessings
and peace be upon him) instructed us, the
maids, and the ones in their menses to go out. The women menstruating would
stay away from prayer and witness the good
(of the day) and Muslim's prayer (to
Allah). So I said, `O Messenger of Allah,
there may be one of us who does not have a jilbab (dress)."
He replied, `Let her sister (in Islam)
give her one. 50
This is one of the aspects of Muslim life that are ignored by Muslims in
most of their countries. Some, however, such as the devotional retreat
in the last ten days of Ramadan and the attendance of the Bairam congregation
by women, are in the process of coming back to life through the efforts
of the youth of the modern Islamic awakening.
Women always attended the teaching sessions of the Prophet (blessings and
peace be upon him). They would address aisha with the questions they found
awkward or too bold to ask. The Prophet's wife, aisha (may Allah be pleased
with her), praised the women of the Ansar whose shyness did not prevent
them from seeking knowledge of the religion and asking questions about
major issues such as impurity (full sex or ejaculation preventing one from
performing some forms of worship), night ejaculation, washing from impurity,
menstruation and other such matters.
This, however, was not enough for them compared to the men's completely
enfolding the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him); so they demanded
a special day of teaching be allocated to them without vying with a crowd
of men, and said openly, "Messenger of Allah, the
men have taken complete possession of your company, so devote one of your
days to us." The Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) promised
to give them a day and he preached and gave them instruction. 51
This kind of female activism was also revealed during battles when women
served in the army with the mujahedeen (warriors who struggle to keep Islam
alive) in a way that suited them and brought out the best of their abilities,
such as attending the wounded, giving medical aid, nursing the injured
fighters, in addition to cooking, procuring water and the like. Um `Ateyya
asserted, "I went on seven military expeditions with
the Prophet (greetings and peace be upon him);
I would guard the fighters, provisions, make their food, treat the injured
and nurse the ill ones". 52
Anas, one of the Prophet's Companions, narrates, "On
the Day of Uhud,`aisha and Um Salim, their sleeves rolled up, would carry
water in skin bags on their backs and empty the contents into the soldiers
open mouths". 53
The fact that `aisha was still in her teens renders incorrect the claim
that female participation in military expeditions and battles was confined
to old women. Realistically speaking, this defies logic as such work would
be unduly onerous for the aged when considering the physical and psychological
exigencies of war.
In the same line, Imam Ahmad recalls, `six believing
women were in the army that besieged Khaibar, their task being to hand
arrows to the fighters, prepare food, procure water, treat the wounded,
spin yarn and help in (the promotion of)
the cause of Allah. Eventually, the Prophet
(blessings and peace be upon him) allocated
shares in the spoils to them. 54
It is also established that some of the Companion's wives took up arms
in some expeditions and battles. The deeds of Um `Imarah Nasba bint Ka'b
on the Day of Uhud are well known and were of such effect as to make the
Prophet say, "Her manner excelled that of such and
such people." On the day of the Battle of Hunain, Um Salum, for
her part, kept a dagger to stab any enemies who would come within her reach.
This story is told again by her son Anas, "On the
Day of Hunain, Um Salum had a dagger; when she was seen by her husband,
Abu Talha, he told the Prophet, `Messenger of Allah, Um Salum is keeping
a dagger with her." When the Prophet asked her about it she answered, `It
is to stab the abdomen of any of the Pagans who might come near me," at
which the Prophet laughed. 55
But the women of the Prophet's and Companion's Eras had ambitions that
went beyond the participation in the expeditions into adjacent areas. They
were also keen to take part in the Muslim conquests of distant lands to
help disseminate the message of Islam. Anas narrated, "One
day, the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) took his siesta in the
house of Urn Hiram. When he woke up, he laughed. So she asked, `What makes
you laugh, Prophet of Allah?" The Prophet said, `I have seen some people
from my nation, who were out to fight for the sake of Allah, riding the
sea. There were kings seated on their thrones." So she replied, `O Messenger
of Allah, pray to Allah that I may be one of them." He did. 56
During the reign of `Uthman (the third caliph), Um Hiram set sail with
her husband, Ubada ibn As-Samit, to Cyprus, where she was killed while
she was on horseback (in a battle) and was buried there, according to biographers
and chroniclers.
A whole section is devoted to highlighting
woman's roles in the battles and military expeditions.